Want a Gun-Free Zone? Tennessee Says That’s on You: LITERALLY – Bearing Arms


Want a Gun-Free Zone? Tennessee Says That’s on You: LITERALLY


New look soon!

I have been sort of quiet for a reason. I have been working behind the scenes on a new website, our final website home.

I am so excited to share it with the world, as it truly represents Live Love Load.

More to come soon!

Guns: Pink or No Pink?

I have always liked the color pink and I have no issue with it. I have no issues with any color. It is the gender assignment and stereotypes I have major issues with. The idea that pink represents a weaker position than blue and women are weak, whiny, high-maintenance and unable to be taken seriously.

While we do have the pink and coral shirts for men, the ‘macho’ men who have to elevate themselves above others to feel superior, wouldn’t be caught dead in a pink shirt. In the shooting world, I have found certain men take themselves super serious. The ‘operator’ types wear the 5.11 tactical clothing 24/7 and will pocket dump an arsenal that shows he is prepared for ANYTHING. 2fab8914a47894f3ebaaa039a8f1d530

I secretly love the cranberry colored guns, which I feel are different and fun. The fact I am showing Ruger guns doesn’t mean anything, they are just readily available in these colors.

I am not a flashy type but I do like to customize. I have been afraid to purchase a colored gun because if I decide I don’t like it, I’m stuck with that color. Whereas if you get a black gun you can get it cerakoted to what you want or get a gun skin.


Personally I think I love this Victory skin, especially for my Glock 17. As you can see there isn’t much pink options available unless you want camo.

I realized my hesitation about pink firearms was more about my perception of what others would think of me if I wanted a pink firearms versus the reality. I am a woman, I have choices and my choice has nothing to do with anything else other than it is what I choose. A pink Glock 17 will shoot the same as a black Glock 17. The color of a firearms just allows you to customize your tool, an opportunity for others to make money (cerakote, duracoat, and other aftermarket finishers). Gun makers are making colors available to their consumers to entice them to buy theirs over another gun makers. It is all about money. It has nothing to do with being weak, whiny, or high-maintenance.

Men who hand a woman a pink gun over the gun counter has nothing to do with the woman standing there, it says a whole lot about the man. I am writing this because I struggle with this, but have since realized no matter the color, a man is handing a gun over to me because he wants me to buy it. His attitudes about women has nothing to do with me or you, but him. Then you have to decide whether the customer service is up to par with your expectations. GRIN Believe me I have walked away!

Ladies, we are consumers. They want our money. Make your choices based on what you want and make the counter-help work for you. I do ask that you consider buying for function and reliability first and color lastly. A cute gun that isn’t reliable isn’t going to do anything for you.



The .380 Decision

c51dd68eb6682bc7f6793db883bc4fb1I am not a .380 type. To be fair, I haven’t shot one but I have heard about the recoil and the guns themselves are small. I’d rather have a good handle on my single stack 9mm than not have a firm grip on a .380. HOWEVER, since I will eventually be teaching others, I want a variety of calibers for new shooters to experience. In the past shopping for a firearm, I cannot tell you how many times I was handed a pink .380 pistol. Not these days, I will tell you what I am looking for, straight away.

I am torn between a Glock 42, Ruger LCP, and Walther PK380. Capacity is 6+1 except for the Walther, which has capacity for 8!


The Glock 42

PROS: Easy to dismantle. Simple operation. Reliable. Customizable. Comes with TWO magazines (super plus!)

CONS: No manual safety for beginners. I have heard bad reviews of this model, stating failures to feed and eject.

Barrel Length 3.25″
Height 4.13″
Width .94″
Weight (unloaded)


.86 lbs.




The Ruger LCP

PROS: Dependable, used by law enforcement as a BUG (back up gun). Tons of accessories available, common choice. Very ergonomical. Very slim profile, easy to conceal.

CONS: Comes with ONE magazine (C’mon Ruger, get with the program!!!) No manual safety.

Weight 9.4 oz (270 g)
Length 5.16 in (131 mm)
Barrel length 2.75 in (70 mm)
Width .82 in (21 mm)


3.6 in (91 mm)

$399-419 *Found at $199 online at Palmetto State Armory


walther-pk380-pistolThe Walther PK380

PROS: Best ergonomics! Feels good in the hand. 8 ROUNDS! Manual safety for beginners.

CONS: A little heavier, tiny bit larger than Glock 42 or Ruger LCP. Take down tool needed. ONE magazine again?! Walther, get with the program!!
After further consideration: too big for a .380, just get a 9mm- they are the same size.

Weight 22.4 oz (0.64 kg)
Length 6.5 in (17 cm)
Barrel length 3.66 in (9.3 cm)
Width 1.2 in (3.0 cm)


5.2 in (13 cm)

$379-$419 (with laser)


If I was looking to purchase for my own personal use, I would include the Remington RM380. I have heard nothing but good things about it and it comes with TWO magazines and is significantly less than the Glock 42.

Which do I choose? All are great firearms, truly…but for the classroom use, price reigns king and I cannot refuse a $199 price tag for a Ruger LCP at Palmetto State Armory. Unless there’s a better deal at the gun show…which there WAS!

Keep in mind when ordering online, you have shipping and taxes still, but if you have gun show come your way, you can get specialized prices if you look hard and can get the vendor to agree. I picked up a new Ruger LCP in Kryptek Neptune for only $219.00 out the door. Yes, out the door, no taxes, no other costs. If I had ordered from Palmetto State Armory, there would have been more taxes and I would end up paying close to $240 or above. This little bugger is tiny, I can put her in my pocket. I can see the easily to conceal likeability but we’ll see more after I shoot her. There is no manual safety but a good holster solves that.




Certified and Ready?


I have completed the NRA’s Refuse to Be a Victim Instructor training and I am now “Certified”!

Many think now I am ready to teach? Nope. I could and you could attend but I wouldn’t recommend it. I’m sure there would be tons of rambling and uhs, ums, and shuffling about. Maybe even nervous laughter.

Now in the journey is the embarrassing practicing. I am collecting items to display for the attendees as examples, I am living and breathing the material. I am thinking of examples I will share, I am 100% committed to delivering a quality program. Quality takes time, I don’t want to jump out there before I am able to provide quality. There are too many people out there just happy to take other’s money- if you pay for a class from me, you will feel as if you got your money’s worth.

Honestly, I am super excited- I am very passionate about promoting self-protection and awareness. It’s an excitement that is hard to contain, I can see others reacting to me when I talk about it. People light up when they are impassioned about a topic and enthusiasm is contagious. There are many I know who are eager to take classes, as I am eager to provide them. Please have patience with me. It will be worth it!

This whole starting-a-business business is WORK! There is so much behind the scenes to do, so much to consider and plan. Nothing worthwhile is easy and nothing easy is worthwhile. Yes, I am Certified, but I’m not ready…yet.

Happy Memorial Day

Where Memorial Day comes from. It is not about a day off or barbeque. Thank you for your sacrifices for our freedom, as Memorial Day honors the dead while Veteran’s Day honors the living. Find a Memorial Day event in your area to honor those who fell for your freedom.


A little polishing…for us.

I did not grow up in a YouTube world. Nowadays, if you wish to learn something, you can watch thousands of videos (good and bad) to learn anything you want.

When I became 15 my mother took me to Merle Norman to get my first makeup “professionally” done. I walked out of there with a couple of pounds of makeup. My face was completely pancaked and I had makeup of every pore of my face. Even my thick eyebrows had makeup in them!

I never really learned how to properly apply makeup. I started in earnest to learn a couple of years ago in my early 30s. It seemed going to get your makeup done at Merle Norman or a makeup counter was the thing to do and you’re at the mercy of that person’s interpretation of what looks good and their knowledge. I swear, I looked like an overdone performer one time when the ‘makeup artist’ put a dark shade from my lash line all the way to my eyebrows. Geesh, I couldn’t wipe that off fast enough.eyemakeup

I walked into Ulta recently and asked for help. My first question was, ‘are you knowledgeable?’ Which is ridiculous now that I think about it afterwards, of course people are not going to ‘tell’ on themselves for being less than an expert. Anyways,  I needed help determining if my skin tone is cool, warm, or neutral. I don’t know what to call a male made up like a female but not wearing female clothes other than Boy-George.

So Boy-George took a look at my wrist to see what color my veins looked. If they are blue I am cool, if they are green, I’m more neutral. Guess what, based on that I am neutral. BUT I am more of a cool neutral than anything because I have pink undertones to my skin. Boy-George said I was a Neutral Warm. Um, no. You just lost all credibility. Yes, my hair has red tones in it (I paid to put it there) but I am not a Warm in any capacity.


My lesson in all of this is not to trust the paid retail help. You may get lucky and actually find someone who knows what they are talking about because they live and breathe makeup but that hasn’t been my experience. Oh and stay away from the mannequins, if you want a more natural look, the real life mannequin dolls at the makeup counter cannot help you, they cannot even help themselves. If their face seems like a mask they are wearing, walk away. I have a hard time not staring sometimes.

Recently I have learned about-face shapes, eyebrow shapes, eye shapes, skin tones, what colors to wear, and eyeshadow application. You cannot look your best if you don’t know how to accentuate your natural beauty. Makeup is a tool to learn to use. I found this website that has great helps to start your path.


Best part is no one is trying to sell you anything. For years I thought I had a round or oval face. I am actually heart-shaped. Which is why I have had a hard time finding sunglasses that compliment my face. Now I know what to look for. No matter what age, we all want to look and feel our best. I consider this a part of Ladies Roar, anything that promotes self-awareness and self-improvement. #LadiesRoar



Give up? Pa-cha!

The official pout.

My parents would say I am beyond stubborn. I just go after what I want to do, if I am impassioned about it, good luck stopping me. However, I am not perfect and I don’t have all the answers. Obstacles?

Sure, I trip over them trying to find a way around them. I may get bruised but I keep going. I don’t know what to say to excusers. I don’t know what to do when my own children come to me with endless excuses.

I have NO IDEA what I am doing with this website. NOT a clue. I used to blog over at Blogger and did a little CSS but today’s acronyms are mind-boggling! I know I want to move my website from wordpress to another host to be able to do more things (as cost-effectively as possible). I am struggling through because I am not independently wealthy, I would rather learn how to do something and be self-reliant than pay someone else to do something I could do.

Is that stubborn? Okay, well maybe a little.

stub·born adjective

 having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.

I don’t think that is a bad thing unless you are being stubborn for bad reasons. In spite of good arguments?? That I would save time if I hired someone else? Maybe but I would spend a WHOLE lot more by not learning it myself and being willing to struggle through the concepts that sounds like alien language.

You don’t have to know everything to start learning. All you need to learn is to have a determination to learn and be willing to do what it takes to become better. So what if I completely screw up my website, I can build another one. So what if I don’t shoot well ONE time at the range, did I pay attention to why I didn’t shoot well? So what if I embarrass myself in public? Who really cares?SettingGoals

I want things to be easy just like everyone else. I prefer not to be so persistent all the time. I am not perfect, I will make mistakes. I will pout, scream, shout, be upset and then get over it and keep at it. I embrace my difficult side, always secretly have. GRIN

I know teenagers that really struggle with overcoming self-induced obstacles. My husband calls it Eeyore syndrome, woe-is-me nothing ever goes right for me. It’s not just teenagers with that outlook, I know plenty of adults with Eeyore syndrome too. The focus is more on the problems than the solutions, the prize goes out of focus. Of course, by the prize, I mean accomplishing the goal.

What I have found time and time again is that the missing piece that keeps me from my goal is usually me. Do you find that too?

I will stop allowing new information and terms to overwhelm me, I will learn what they mean and how it applies. I will take my time and learn how to do this website stuff, my website may disappear for a little while but it will be back once I figure out what I did wrong. Hopefully.





Quit Apologizing!


EVERYONE knows what dirt tastes like. Last week, I ordered a salad at a restaurant and found myself crunching on a shoddily washed leaf. I took a few more sandy bites before explaining the situation to my waiter, apologizing and asking to see the menu once again.

When my second-choice dish arrived, 20 minutes later, it was blanketed in bacon. I don’t eat meat, a dietary restriction for which I was “very sorry.” By the time a plate of edible food appeared, my fork had been a casualty of the confusion. Unable to catch the waiter’s eye, I walked to the kitchen, where I apologized to a busboy.

For so many women, myself included, apologies are inexorably linked with our conception of politeness. Somehow, as we grew into adults, “sorry” became an entry point to basic affirmative sentences.

True, this affliction is not exclusive to our gender. It can be found among men — in particular, British men — but it is far more stereotypical of women. So, in the words of a popular 2014 Pantene ad, why are women always apologizing?

One commonly posited theory, which informs everything from shampoo commercials to doctoral dissertations, is that being perceived as rude is so abhorrent to women that we need to make ourselves less obtrusive before we speak up. According to a 2010 study in the journal Psychological Science, “women have a lower threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior,” so are more likely to see a need for an apology in everyday situations. We are even apt to shoehorn apologies into instances where being direct is vital — such as when demanding a raise.

I’m dubious about this catchall explanation. The bend-over-backward compulsion to avoid giving offense might account for plenty of unnecessary “pleases” or “excuse me’s,” but it doesn’t sufficiently account for the intensity of a “sorry.”

Here’s the paradox: Every day, we see more unapologetically self-assured female role models, yet women’s extreme prostration seems only to have increased. A recent “Inside Amy Schumer” sketch wonderfully skewered our propensity to apologize: One by one, various accomplished women on a panel apologize, first for trivial things like being allergic to caffeine, or for talking over one another, but finally for having the gall to exist in the first place. The discrepancy between what those women offer the world and how they conduct themselves in it elevates the sketch from amusing to disturbing.

This is not to suggest that all men are rude and unapologetic and that women are the inverse, but something incongruous is happening in women’s behavior that can’t be chalked up to reflexive politeness. Look at the Metropolitan Transportation Authority’s new ads warning New York straphangers against inconsiderate behavior, like eating on the subway or manspreading. Graphics depict men displaying almost all these behaviors, except, perhaps in an effort to provide gender balance, the one that advises women to avoid elbows-out personal grooming.

The scenario seems ridiculously unrealistic — and not just because it’s the only one I’ve never witnessed firsthand. The ads are saying that men are far less likely to be conscious of personal space than women. So why, even after making ourselves physically smaller on the subway, are we still the ones apologizing?

I think it’s because we haven’t addressed the deeper meaning of these “sorrys.” To me, they sound like tiny acts of revolt, expressions of frustration or anger at having to ask for what should be automatic. They are employed when a situation is so clearly not our fault that we think the apology will serve as a prompt for the person who should be apologizing.

It’s a Trojan horse for genuine annoyance, a tactic left over from centuries of having to couch basic demands in palatable packages in order to get what we want. All that exhausting maneuvering is the etiquette equivalent of a vestigial tail.

When a woman opens her window at 3 a.m. on a weeknight and shouts to her neighbor, “I’m sorry, but can you turn the music down?” the “sorry” is not an attempt at unobtrusiveness. It’s not even good manners. It’s a poor translation for a string of expletives.

These sorrys are actually assertive. Unfortunately, for both addresser and addressee alike, the “assertive apology” is too indirect, obscuring the point. It comes off as passive-aggressive — the easiest of the aggressions to dismiss.

So we should stop. It’s not what we’re saying that’s the problem, it’s what we’re not saying. The sorrys are taking up airtime that should be used for making logical, declarative statements, expressing opinions and relaying accurate impressions of what we want.

We are not sorry to ask for an email that should have been sent to us weeks ago, or to expect to receive the item we paid for, or to be bumped into on the subway. Yes, we should take the shampoo commercial’s advice and weed out the word when it’s superfluous. But it’s just as important to articulate exactly what we mean in its place.

Julia Child, a consummate charmer, said it best: “Never apologize.” Probably because she never asked anyone to eat dirt.